“But Everyone Else Has It!” A Word-for-Word Script for Holding Screen Limits Without Power Struggles

Introduction

If you’ve ever said “no” to extra screen time and immediately heard:

“But everyone else has it!” 😩

—you know how quickly a simple limit can escalate into a full-blown power struggle. Screen limits aren’t just about devices—they’re about boundaries, self-regulation, and family values.

The good news? You don’t have to argue, lecture, or negotiate endlessly. Using a word-for-word script with empathy and authority allows you to hold limits consistently while keeping the relationship calm. This guide gives practical language, mindset strategies, and examples you can use today.

Step 1: Get Clear on Your “Why”

Why It Matters

Before you speak, know your reason for the screen limit. Children are more likely to accept limits when parents are clear and calm.

Common reasons include:

• Sleep hygiene 😴
• Eye strain or headaches 👀
• Encouraging hobbies, reading, or movement 🎨🏃
• Family connection and conversation 🏡

💡 Tip: A strong “why” keeps you anchored and prevents negotiations from spiraling.

Step 2: Use Neutral, Empathetic Language

Scenario

Child: “But everyone else has unlimited TikTok!”

Effective response (script):

“I hear that it feels unfair when your friends can do it. It’s normal to feel that way. In our family, we have limits because [your reason]. We can talk about it after [designated time or condition].”

Why it works:

• Validates the child’s feelings without agreeing to the demand
• States the boundary clearly
• Sets a future opportunity for discussion without immediate argument

💡 Emoji cue: Empathy = ❤️, Boundary = 🚧

Step 3: Offer Choices Within Limits

Example Script

Instead of “No, you can’t play,” offer controlled options:

“You can do 30 minutes of gaming now, or we can plan 30 minutes after homework. Which works better for you?”

Why it works:

• Gives the child agency without removing the boundary
• Reduces power struggles
• Encourages planning and self-regulation

Step 4: Keep Consistent, Calm, and Predictable

Mindset Shift

Consistency signals: limits are non-negotiable but fair.

Tips for staying calm:

• Pause and breathe before responding 😌
• Keep tone neutral, avoid yelling
• Avoid “Because I said so”—explain briefly instead

💡 Script for repeated pushback:

“I know it’s frustrating. Our rule still applies. You can choose how to use your screen time next.”

Step 5: Use “Acknowledgment First, Boundary Second”

Example Script

Child: “It’s so unfair!”

“I understand—it feels really unfair to you. I also need to make sure screens don’t take over your day. That means we stick to our limit.”

Why it works:

• Reduces defensiveness
• Shows empathy
• Reaffirms authority calmly

Step 6: Avoid Bargaining or Lecturing

Key Principle

Power struggles escalate when parents argue or justify excessively. Use short, firm, empathetic statements:

“I understand you’re upset. The limit stands. We can talk after dinner.”

💡 Tip: Repeating the same language calmly is more effective than giving in or debating endlessly.

Step 7: Practice and Role-Play

How to Prepare

• Practice your scripts out loud when calm
• Role-play common pushback phrases with your partner or friend
• Use emojis or notes as quick mental reminders ❤️🚧🕒

Why it helps: In-the-moment conversations feel less reactive and more intentional.

Quick Parent Script Cheat Sheet 🧾

Final Thoughts

Holding screen limits doesn’t have to feel like a battle. By using empathetic, consistent, and simple scripts, parents can maintain authority while reducing arguments and emotional strain. ❤️🚧

If you remember one thing: acknowledge feelings first, hold the boundary second. With practice, this approach keeps limits clear and relationships intact.