From Midnight Searches to Morning Smiles: A Montessori Director’s Real-World Parenting Lessons

Before I became a mum, colleagues hailed me as a parenting pro—after all, I ran a Montessori school in Brooklyn. 👩‍🏫✨ Yet when my own bump began to grow, I learned fast that textbooks can’t capture 3 a.m. worries or the way a single cry can rattle your soul. So I did what any modern educator-turned-parent would do: I turned research mode on myself. 🔍📚

Confident Montessori School Director

Night after night, phone balanced on my bump, I Googled everything. 🤳💭 “When does a baby’s heart start beating?” “How soon will I feel that first flutter?” Those quick hits of data felt like life jackets in an ocean of unknowns as due day crept closer. ⏳🍼

Once my daughter arrived, the queries kept rolling: “How long should a newborn nap?” “When to switch from breast to bottle?” Clear, numbers-based answers seemed to promise order amid diaper chaos. 📈🛌

But baby two, three, and four rewrote the rulebook. 📑➡️🚫 One refused naps, another was the textbook definition of “high-needs,” and all of them reminded me that no two tiny humans read the same manual.

Our son’s unrelenting colic hit hardest. 🥲🎠 The blogs said three months; my reality said indefinite. Each wail chipped at my certainty and stretched every limit I owned.

That clash between my polished professional identity and messy living-room reality was humbling. 🎭↔️🎢 Algorithm-served “perfect parent” reels only magnified my self-doubt, ignoring working-late partners, tight budgets, or plain exhaustion. 🛑📲

I stumbled on articles insisting we schedule first dentist visits before teeth had even erupted 😳🦷 and warnings that a single cross word could scar a child’s psyche forever. Suddenly I was supposed to be playmate, chef, therapist, and mindfulness coach—simultaneously! 🎨🍳🧑‍⚕️🧘

What those feeds never mentioned is context: my energy, my partner’s shift work, the thunderstorm of daily life. 🌩️ Parenting isn’t plug-and-play; it’s jazz—messy, improvised, beautiful. 🎷

Eventually I realised the endless scroll was fuelling anxiety, not confidence. 🔄⚡ Choosing progress over perfection—burnt toast, mismatched socks, belly laughs—set us free. 🥞🧦😂

Now, with a few more grey hairs and a lot more grace, I know “imperfect” doesn’t mean “failing.” 🌱 My kids’ resilience grows from honest hugs, not algorithmic checklists, and our home hums on authenticity over aesthetic. 💖🏠

— Christine Carrig, M.S.Ed., founder of Carrig Montessori School (Williamsburg, Brooklyn) and Writer in Residence at Khora: Maternal Reproductive & Psychology Lab, Teachers College – Columbia University. She and her family of six embrace joyful imperfection in Queens, NY. Follow along @christine.m.carrig. 🗽👨‍👩‍👧‍👦