Valentine’s Day and Kids ❤️🚫: Why Romance Belongs in Adulthood, Not Childhood

Last week, during my eight-year-old son’s swimming lesson, another mother approached me with a smile.

“Could I have your address?” she asked.

“Um, sure… but why?” I replied, puzzled.

She explained that her daughter wanted to send my son a Valentine’s card. “She’s chosen five boys, and he’s one of them. Lucky him!”

Instead of excitement, I felt discomfort. Politely but firmly, I asked her daughter not to send a card. “He’s only eight,” I said. “There’s plenty of time for Valentine’s later.” She didn’t take it well, but I stood by my decision.

Why Kids and Valentine’s Day Don’t Mix ❌

Valentine’s Day is rooted in love, romance, and intimacy—concepts designed for adults. Yet every February, the holiday creeps further into childhood, encouraged by parents who see it as “cute” or “fun.”

As a mother of two, I find this troubling. Romantic framing of children’s friendships isn’t harmless—it accelerates premature sexualization and pressures kids to grow up too quickly.

Children deserve love and affirmation from family, not lessons in romance before they’re ready.

Expert Insight 🧠

Family counselor Georgina Sturmer echoes these concerns. She warns that Valentine’s Day teaches kids that romantic love should be life’s main pursuit. These messages, absorbed early, can foster unrealistic expectations and feelings of inadequacy later.

She also highlights how Valentine’s Day reinforces harmful ideals around appearance, popularity, and desirability—pressures children should not have to face.

Unlike kid-friendly holidays like Easter or Halloween, Valentine’s Day is inherently adult-focused. By pushing it into childhood, we blur the line between innocence and adult themes.

The Rise of Valentine’s in Schools 🎒

Since my eldest started school in 2020, I’ve noticed Valentine’s activities spreading—cards, chocolates, even Valentine’s discos. Many parents, especially mothers, go all-out, buying themed gifts or staging elaborate home celebrations for social media clout.

But kids don’t need heart-shaped balloons or chocolates to feel loved. What they truly crave is attention, play, and emotional connection.

Valentine’s can also turn into a popularity contest. Children excluded from cards or gifts may feel unworthy or left out—echoing the same pain adults feel when they’re overlooked on this holiday.

Keeping Valentine’s for Adults 💌

In my household, February 14th is just another day for the kids. My husband and I may exchange cards or enjoy a quiet meal after bedtime, but we keep the romance where it belongs—between adults.

Children should be free to enjoy their innocence, without the unnecessary pressure of romantic expectations.

Final Thought 🌱

Valentine’s Day may seem like harmless fun, but when applied to children, it risks doing more harm than good. Let’s preserve childhood for play, discovery, and self-confidence—not early lessons in romance.